More Reasons I Really Am No1 | TLC Ch 9-12 | Artemis Fowl Read Along

Welcome back to the Artemis Fowl Read Along! Thanks for joining me for a little commentary on chapters 9-12 of The Lost Colony.

Chapter 9: Turned Tables

We return to Holly, who has allowed herself to be taken captive by Minerva Paradizo in an attempt to rescue the demon No1. After all, Artemis knows from experience that kidnapping a fairy is tantamount to inviting a fairy into your home -and how much trouble and mischief they can wreak once they're inside. Holly is just preparing to wreak said havoc, she's running through a mental checklist of the materials at her disposal and we learn that she has left all the more impressive bells and whistles of her fairy tech behind because there was no sense risking them falling into human hands. Other than Artemis', of course.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Holly wants to protect fairy tech from humans who would abuse it. So she entrusts it to Artemis.
It shows just how far they've both developed -on their own and as friends- and I love that.

Reason #11 that I am No1 and No1 is me: How we nod furiously and with far too much enthusiasm until someone tells/makes us stop.

Reason #12: Using vocabulary as stress relief. When annoyed or frustrated I do tend to dust off some pretty splendid synonyms.

Given the dexterity and alacrity with which Foaly wields a laser, I don't think anyone Above or Below would trust that centaur with any 'happy guy' he might try inventing.
Sool giving you trouble? Shoot him with the happy gun!
Your brother getting too grumpy and picking on you? Shoot him with the happy gun!
Someone threatening to slash next year's budget? Shoot them with the happy gun!
Someone insulting your girlfriend? SHOOT THEM WITH THE LASER AND BURY THEM IN THE MAGNA SHOOTS-- achem, I mean shoot them with the happy gun.

Reason #13: Possessing that 'real gift' for sarcasm.

Chapter 10: Kong the King

Artemis has a lot of cool lines and potential catchphrases. This devious mastermind can certainly make the best of words; everyone has a favorite line of his. One of mine is whenever he's the mysterious and unexpected voice on the other end of the phone call explaining the he has a friend; he has all the numbers.
Because that we creep me the heck out if it happened to me.

I know how you feel, Holly; whenever someone asks 'Do you trust me?' things are guaranteed to get much, much worse before they (if they) ever get better. I can only imagine hearing Artemis ask that loaded question.

Chapter 11: A Long Way Down

Reason #14: Orange is definitely not for us. (Neither are muumuus.)

Because, Artemis, of course you need an elevator with the speed of fifty-five feet per second for Fowl Manor. That makes perfect sense. I mean, it's impressive you can pass 89 floors in 30 seconds but -does Fowl Manor have 89 floors?
But then it occurs to me as I type out this teasing -is this Artemis being nervous? I mean, they are embarking on one of their most dangerous missions, with some of the worst consequences yet, with little to now planning.
Isn't it possible Artemis is distracting himself from everything that could and probably will go wrong with this plan by studying this modern marvel of engineering?

I rather love No1 asking Artemis for tips on just how exactly he should play his role in all this. The role that consists -almost entirely- of opening his hand.
I love this little imp.

I wonder if it was hard Artemis to keep a straight face when he convinced No1 that, yes, of course orange floral muumuus and bonnets are perfectly normal articles of clothing for human children. I'd love to see an illustrated version of his face at that moment.

Reason #15: I, too, would feel the need to clarify that the orange floral muumuu and bonnet were not, in fact, mine.

That's it, Holly; there's always time to snap a photo of your flabbergasted bad guy right at the moment the full realization of Master Artemis Fowl's scheme dawns on them. Life's short, after all. You've got to make sure you enjoy the little things.

Chapter 12: Heart of Stone

Ah, Artemis; you and your 'characteristic lack of modesty'.

Holly and Minerva do not get along well. While they have very little time actually being on the same side, I've never actually noticed that the two girls really don't get along. Like, at all. Minerva is pre-development Artemis and Holly is so done with that phase. I guess there's only enough of a soft spot for one young, quick, arrogant, and morally ambiguous genius in the elf's heart.
It makes me curious as to how -or if- an understanding or relationship would have ever developed between the two. They certainly didn't have the best of first meetings -read as: kidnapping- but that was hardly different than her and Artemis' first meeting. But their second meeting also wasn't great; Holly tries to point out to Minerva just how royally she almost messed things up and Minerva ...says harboring guilt over her mistakes isn't good for her mental health.
On the one hand, yeah, this could be a very believable type answer coming from Artemis as well. But on the other hand, I think the key here is that -despite kidnapping Holly and watching his entire scheme almost implode around him- Artemis redeemed himself however small an amount in Holly's eyes by buying that miracle off her, in the end of book one. One action -and comparably small against everything else he did on that little adventure- but it was enough to show that he had a heart of flesh, under the layers of ice.
This, I think, is what Minerva lacks, right now anyway. And it rather feels like Holly is already writing her off as a lost cause. And, as much as I like Minerva's interaction with Artemis, I gotta admit I'm totally with Holly on this one.

That's it for this week's read along! Thanks for joining me. I'll see you next Thursday for the end of The Lost Colony.

February's reading schedule for The Lost Colony:
Feb 1-7: Chapters 1-4
Feb 9-14: Chapters 5-8
Feb 15-21: Chapters 9-12
Feb 22-28: Chapters 13-16