TIME PARADOXES!! | TTP Ch 13-Epilogue | Artemis Fowl Read Along

If you missed any of my read along for The Time Paradox, check out the rest:

March 7: Chapters 1-4

March 14: Chapters 5-8

March 21: Chapters 9-12

March 28: Chapters 13-16

Chapter 13: The Hairy One is Dead

Butler very much wants young Artemis to learn his lesson here. Already, he's berated him for his misdeeds and guilted him into helping the 'hairy one' rescue his fairy friend.

But Butler is also careful and selective about exactly which hard truths he lays on his young charge because, while he doesn't sugarcoat the fact that the 'hairy one' died attempting to rescue the fairy, who's captive state young Artemis is directly responsible for, he does not tell the young master the much more bitter fact that everything was under control until his ill-timed and petty video.

We can infer two things from this:

• Butler wanted Artemis to learn the hard lesson that his actions have drastic consequences, but didn't want to be cruel.
• Butler also didn't want to dissuade Artemis from future 'good deeds' by explaining this first attempt at one only wound up getting someone killed.

Hearing Artemis say "Yee-haw" in true cowboy fashion is not something I realized I needed in my life. Now if I only I had a matching picture...

Oh, look! Here's one over at Artemis Fowl FanGathering. Thanks, Internet.

I would like to point out that not only does Artemis wonder, even for a second, if the lemur Jayjay is steering the fairy shuttle, but that Holly knows exactly what he's thinking and corrects him before he even asks.

Chapter 14: The Hole in the Ace

A clever reversal of the finale chapter in Artemis Fowl. While Artemis held a true ace in the hole in deducing how to escape the time field, this refers to Opal's supposed ace backfiring when Artemis finds the hole that will tear it asunder.

On the note of my being so harsh on Arty for manipulating Holly instead of trusting her, it's refreshing to see that -while Holly plans on punching him in the face for it- she is plagued by questions and doubts about whether she truly would have helped him or not.

I forgot how fast this jumped from 'there's gotta be a plot twist' to 'whoa, hella weird!'

Schalke, under the mesmer, is entertaining, doing what he's bound to but with all his arrogance, smart-assery, and personality in tact. At least he's not reduced to one-word sentences, eh, Opal? Careful what you wish for, pixie. This does, however, bring up the interesting question of whether Schalke was truly weak-willed to succumb to the mesmer with his personality in tact, whether Opal's 'improved' magic is flawed, or whether Schalke simply doesn't have qualms about shooting people.

I gotta hand it to Eoin; when storytellers dip into time travel, they generally try to avoid, negate, or explain away paradoxes. But not Eoin. Oh no! He makes a completely inexplicable time paradox the CENTERPIECE of his novel.

While both Artemises (Artemisi?) are in the time stream, Artemis the elder wonders at how obnoxious his younger version is and this is probably the single best thing I love about this book.

"Little wonder people in general did not like him."

Artemis Fowl has a secret route through the Manor that not even Butler's surveillance can detect which includes, and I quote 'walking on furniture' and 'traveling in dumbwaiters'. I especially love the touch of opening the fridge door and using it to block the view of the camera.

Both Artemises contemplating the barrel of animal fat provides an lovely juxtaposition between the elder -who finds it deplorable- and the younger -who calls it ingenious. It's like a 'before' and 'after' picture.

Chapter 15 Murder Most Fowl

There are so many 'Fowl' puns in this book and I love it.

Just as I'm about to point out that Artemis' sneaking over furniture and through dumbwaiters is rather a lot of physical exercise for him, I read that it's catching up with him. All right. So Artemis still ins't into physical exertion.

But there's something else. How many times has Artemis bemoaned his lack of physical prowess or promised to start working out and how many times have I teased him about his never actually doing it? We know Artemis won't start exercising. I know it, you know, he knows it. He knows it, because he conducted 'a little mind over matter experiment' while in the time stream, trying to will his muscles to tone.

ARTEMIS LITERALLY TRIED TO WISH HIMSELF INTO SHAPE.

This is one of the most relatable things this kid has ever done.

As Artemis is taking off in the Cessna,  I love his little moment of introspection. "Have I changed utterly?" he thinks, banishing the thought of fleeing instead of following The Plan. But no, he decides; just because his range of palatable crimes is growing smaller just means he'll have to work harder to find the ones he can justify.

Artemis shooting a flare gun in Opal's face and slamming the visor down on her is very James Bond and the best Artemis vs. Opal moment to date.

Crashed Cessna, broken collarbone, running toward a dead end, Artemis keeps telling himself the cavalry's coming. After everything they've been through, and everything he's done for them, the LEP wouldn't abandon him to such a fate, would they?

Which is a complete reversal of Arty's thoughts than what this book started with. He feared Holly wouldn't cooperate with time travel -that she would abandon him- so he lied and manipulated her.

Now, Artemis is putting his own fate into the hands of the LEP. No lies, no leverage, no manipulation; just faith and trust (though considering who's chasing him, I'm sure he'll pass on the pixie dust).

And in the end, Artemis deals with Opal, though he's still certain the LEP is coming. And while Holly does come to his aid, just after the nick of time, that leave us with an interesting final thought on Artemis' original manipulation because, when Artemis did decide to trust the LEP without manipulating them to ensure his own benefit, the LEP do not make him the priority; they don't come to his aid; even Holly, who may or may not have disobeyed orders to come after him, arrives too late to help.

So maybe Artemis wasn't so mistaken to manipulate the LEP into creating a time stream after all?

And, considering that Artemis going back in time to save his mother was what enable Opal to come into the future to bait and set the trap in the first place, this also leaves us with the unsettling conclusion that Opal understands Artemis and correctly deduced that he would do whatever it took to get the LEP to open a time stream. Now isn't that an uncomfortable thought?

Opal is defeated and Artemis gazes up at the stars and this bit of introspection makes me sad. He feels insignificant in that expanse of nature, which will eventually swallow even the memory of him. He is alone and realizing that his usually feeling of triumph won't arrive.

Why?

I keep asking myself this question, because this is a really depressing moment for Artemis, and I'm just trying to understand what he's thinking right now.

Possibly, for the first time, Artemis is truly understanding that -despite all his schemes and brilliance and plans and inventions- he is a mere speck in the everything that is all of time and space. A dose of this might not be a bad thing for our incredibly ambitious protagonist, but it's not just opening his eyes to the idea, it's robbing him of his hard won triumph and, worse, making him alone in that huge expanse. And that's not good.

Perhaps Artemis is realizing he has lost too much or risked too much. Perhaps he is caught between thinking he has become too invested and grown too much of a conscience or thinking that he has crossed too many lines and hurt too many people.

It could be that Artemis recognizes he is on the edge of something. Or perhaps he just hit a breaking point.

I don't have an answer for this and, honestly, I feel the text is suspiciously vague on Artemis' emotional state right here. The thoughts of any of my fellow Fowl Fans is most welcome. Otherwise, I shall look to The Atlantis Complex to hopefully shed some more light on it.

Ch 16: A Team of Hairdressers

Two thought son Artemis' thoughts on the scenery:

1. He compares the evergreens swaying in the breeze to 'Tolkien's creatures' which I of course love for the sake of a Tolkien reference, but also because Artemis has enough familiarity with Tolkien's works to make such a reference and the thought of Artemis reading The Lord of the Rings is a surprising one -I never figured Arty for the fantasy type, ironically- and this is suddenly a piece of Artemis -and Eoin Colfer- of which I'm very much enamored.
2. Artemis watches Holly and thinks "If only." which is just wistful and mournful enough that I can maybe, kinda see why ArtemisxHolly sprung up.

Hero.

Let us turn our thoughts back to The Eternity Code, when Artemis Sr posed the oh-so-important question to his son of what Arty would do when the time came: choose petty criminal gain or to be a hero?

Artemis has been splitting hair while walking this line, trying to do both. Just look at the aforementioned thought of how rare palatable crimes are becoming for him! But this time, as Holly pointed out, Arty did a good thing, for no profit.

To be called a hero, by his mother no less, must mean a lot to our favorite boy genius.

ANGELINE KNOWS.

I think I forgot the extent of her knowing, actually, because this kind of shocked me. I also wonder at her retained memories.

Is it a flaw in Opal's ill-gotten mesmer, like we already debated because of Schalke's maintaining full personality under its sway?

Or perhaps an unforeseen resilience or built up immunity in a human brain exposed to so much magic? This would be especially interesting, especially considering Artemis' discovery in The Lost Colony, that evidently humans once had magic, but have lost and forgotten how to use it. There could be an idea here that, with such frequent and invasive exposure as Angeline Fowl has been subjugated to over the last five years, perhaps those dormant parts of her human brain have begun to reactivate and recognize magic again. Which would be awesome.

Or perhaps it's merely an 'oversight' on the part of one or more of Artemis' fairy friends who think maybe he's been through enough on his own already.

Either way, it puts Artemis into a rather familiar position: a newly healed Angeline is suddenly aware of her son's exploits and about to make his criminal exploits much harder.

Also, I feel that Angeline's knowing portends something of an intervention for Artemis. He shudders at the thought of complete honesty, even when his outright manipulation of the truth recently caused a serious rend with his friends. 'Complete honesty' with Angeline for Artemis sounds rather akin to an addict going cold turkey and then having their sponsor as a roommate.

It will be interesting to watch this unfold.

Myles Fowl, you clever little boy. You're not buying Artemis' cover story at all, are you? How did I not notice that before. No wonder the twins get their own spin off.

Epilogue

The entire book is built on one big time paradox -and in just the epilogue, Eoin manages to heap on TWO MORE:

1. The escape of Opal Koboi. After all, if the past Opal is loose is the present, how exactly will her part in Artemis and Holly's live be played without her? Like, the goblin uprising and the beginning of Artemis' journey to a hero? Or Julius' death? Time paradoxes, man.
2. Artemis' original fairy-ransom scheme that brings about all his adventures and misadventures with the People is brought about by the collision with his older self already neck-deep in People related adventures and misadventures.

And that, dear readers, is all I have for you today! But no fear -The Atlantis Complex is almost here. This next book should be veeerrrrryyyy interesting for two reasons: I've only read it twice, very far apart from one another and no time recently; I also don't think I've ever fully appreciated book 7 and I know I've never examined it in the full context of the series, specifically Artemis' current emotional and moral state. In other words, BRING ON ORION!

April's reading schedule for The Atlantis Complex:

April 4: Chapters 1-3

April 11: Chapters 4-7

April 18: Chapters 8-Epilogue

April 25: A Special Surprise!

Arty has the best friends | TTP Ch 9-12 | Artemis Fowl Read Along

Welcome back to this week's Fowl Day, the hottest Artemis Fowl-themed weekly celebration on the Internet!

Chapter 9: The Prince Frog

Young Artemis has done some nasty deeds up to now. And while he's en route to Fez to deal with a man he despises and seal the fate of an adorable little lemur he is pointedly ignoring, doubt begins to poke through his thoughts. I am swimming with the sharks, he thinks. But the realization goes deeper and startles the young would-be criminal mastermind. He isn't just swimming with the sharks; he's about to become one of them.

And for us, there is an unspoken question here: Is that what Artemis really wants?

Up to now, young Artemis has been portrayed only as cold and, yes, misguided. When Kronski asks about his father, though, we see him react emotionally (by Artemis' standards, anyway) and it really suckerpunched me with the reminder that this is still the Artemis I love -younger, more vulnerable, with less experience handling it all, and two more years -two whole years, guys, of absolute hell- ahead of him.

I suddenly want to give him a huge hug.

Even though he'd hate it.

And probably have Butler do something painful to me.

For as much as I berated Arty for tricking and manipulating Holly, I do rather enjoy seeing him wracked with guilt. Sure, I occasionally enjoy watching favorite characters suffer and grow in painful awkward ways, but this shows how much Artemis has truly grown from that first moment we saw him in Ho Chi Minh City. The fact that Arty is wracked with guilt -that he can't brush it off or justify it, that he knows he has to tell Holly the truth- is a sign of just how far he's come and actually of just how decent a person he's turning out to be.

I like that, for Artemis the elder, Butler's voice keeps popping up in his head. The bodyguard is, after all, not simply a bodyguard and manservant, but Artemis' confidante, his conscience, constant companion, and closest friend. It makes sense that Arty misses Butler by his side (especially when faced with the bodyguard's younger counterpart) and I love that Butler's voice isn't just being used as a voice of conscience or reason, but also for casual, Butler-ish comments and wit, off of which Artemis readily plays.

I've done this. It's not unusual for me to have imaginary conversations with friends who aren't there, because something I know they would say just pops into my head.

...you do that too, right? Arty and I aren't crazy?

Holly is really going to make Artemis pay for his manipulations. I should have made popcorn for this.

Chapter 10: A Fowl Mood

Holly understands why Artemis manipulated her, even if she can't forgive him yet. She does feel she misjudged their friendship and realizes now that all she and Artemis can ever have is what they've only ever had: a grudging respect.

But this is a lie. Holly's wrong. From the events of The Opal Deception to The Lost Colony, they moved out of 'grudging respect' territory and straight into the role of friends and there's no denying it.

Yes, Artemis screwed up. Yes, you should be angry at him, Holly. But you can't pretend you didn't have a friendship.

Commander Julius Root.
...remember when I said I'd forgotten a lot about this book?

Root waxing poetic about throwing in the towel, then grinning over a call from Holly because it's fairies like her -fairies he's trusting and grooming to take over when he's gone- that keep him holding onto his job. Fairies like Holly need him and what he has to teach, and that's why he'll hold onto those Commander's acorns as long as he needs to.

What gets me most of all, though, is that Root thinks of himself as '[Holly]'s doting grandfather', even if he doesn't want her to see it yet. My heart!

Holly getting the opportunity to thank Julius for everything, to show her appreciation and understanding for everything he's done for her, is one of the best moments. Maybe it's fan service. I don't care. It mends and breaks my heart at once.

And just like that, Artemis x Holly is done. YAY!
But at least their friendship is back on track.

THEY NAMED THE LEMUR AFTER JULIUS!
...excuse me while I go cry a little over this and the adorable nickname Jayjay...

Chapter 11: Pigeon Droppings

Kronski just showed up to the meet in a tailored camouflage SUIT.
I'm not sure 'preposterous' does this quite enough justice.

On page 205, when Artemis summarizes the upcoming exchange to Holly, he refers to the lemur as 'it', which is a way of emotionally detaching himself and objectifying the lemur rather than seeing him as a living creature (thanks, I Am Not A Serial Killer!). We've already covered that Artemis holds (and represses) a lot of guilt over his role in the lemur's extinction and, despite the fact he's now trying to save the creature, his calling him an 'it' is an extension of that guilt reaching into the present (future? past? oh never mind).

But Holly won't it. (Literally.) She sees exactly what Artemis is doing and she jumps on it. Him, she corrects, because the lemur is male; 'and his name is Jayjay.'

I love this. Artemis doesn't even try to fight her on it; from here on out, he refers to the lemur as Jayjay and there's no ducking out of an attachment now. Holly has once again helped him kick a bad habit, own up to his actions, and helped him grow.

Young Artemis, it turns out, is a sly little weasel!
Once again, things go nothing like Artemis the elder predicts and this time he and Holly fall right into his younger self's trap -into the clutches of Kronski. I want to strangle the younger Artemis and yet, at the same time, I know that if this story was solely told from his perspective, I would be cheering him on right now.

Bravo, Eoin; bravo.

I rather enjoy the fact that Artemis the elder is consistently underestimating his younger self, especially because that is exactly what he hated that when he was younger but also realized at the time that his age could be an advantage as it would cause people to underestimate him.

And now that Artemis the elder has 'sacrificed his queen for a rook' he finally realizes his younger self is not only as smart as himself, but far more ruthless.

Irony, party of one?
...or is that two?...

Chapter 12: Gone Forever

Okay. I realize I'm about to over-analyze a humorous but ultimately innocuous bit of exposition, but I can't help it!

First of all, Artemis occasionally writes romance novels under the pseudonym Violet Tsirblou (that pun took me a minute, but I knew one was there!). Considering his 13-year-old self will take to writing psychology papers under another pseudonym, obviously the 'rather childish' equivalent the ten-year-old would write is romance.

Second, in the 5-minute reprieve driving to Kronski's compound granted young Artemis for ironing out the plan in the presence of his 'enemy', he's so confident and self-assured of his plan (and however far out it might extend) that he frivolously uses two of those minutes to plot a romance novel.

Third, Artemis plots a romance novel in two minutes.

Kronski says something weird on page 222 that I don't understand yet:
"You ever think it strange, Ah-temis, how a kid like you winds up eyeball to eyeball with an old crook like me?" ... "It delights me...that a boy such as you exists."

Is this foreshadowing something? Or an aspect of Kronski that isn't explored? Or maybe just a random comment?
If you've got a thought on this, let me know! I'm super curious.

"That will be the guilt gnawing at your soul."
Awww, Butler.

Everybody needs a Butler. Always got your back, always the scariest person in the room, always telling you like it is, always giving you that nudge in the right direction (as forceful as he has to), and always on your side -even if it doesn't feel like it.

I remembered that Opal played into this somewhere, but not quite how. She's mesmerizing a human to do her bidding, eh? For as smart as she (thinks she) is, turns out she's rather a one-hit wonder, isn't she?

I was just thinking 'Holly's always so low on magic!' when Artemis said it. But hearing Holly tally up all her magic-uses -yeah, Arty's a lot of the reason she's never got the juice she needs.

Holly and Artemis understand each other, from anticipating each other's reactions, to knowing habits, to playing off each other to sell an off-the-cuff cover story perfectly, and this is one of the many reasons this is one of my favorite friendships.

Thanks for joining me again on the Artemis Fowl Read Along! I'll see you next week for the wrap up of The Time Paradox. Same Fowl Day, same Fowl read along.

March's reading schedule for The Time Paradox:

March 7: Chapters 1-4

March 14: Chapters 5-8

March 21: Chapters 9-12

March 28: Chapters 13-16

Arty's Greatest Foe | TTP Ch 5-8 | Artemis Fowl Read Along

Chapter 5: I Now Pronounce You

"Hurkk!" and "D'Arvit" are both understandable reactions when learning you and your best-friend-of-the-opposite-gender can't simply time travel with your clothes on when an apprentice is wielding the magic.
I'm just not sure who's reaction I like more.

Twice now, Eoin has referred to the swirling runes of No1's magic as a 'Catherine wheel'. Having no idea what that was, I of course had to look it up. It is a rather marvelous type of firework. I can definitely see how this would be utterly mesmerizing. Not in a magical way. At least, not in that magical way...

Unless Eoin was referring to the 'breaking wheel', a torturous execution device used in the Middle Ages, which was rather infamously renamed the 'Catherine wheel' after being used to execute St. Catherine of Alexandria.

I suspect the firework, though.

But isn't research marvelous?

Chapter 6: I to I

Coming into this book, I was prepared for some wonderful riposte and juxtapositions between Artemis the younger and Artemis the elder. How better to see the progress my favorite formerly criminal/borderline evil genius mastermind has made than to compare him to his past self?

I wasn't quite prepared for the emotional gut punch of delving into the lasting effects and damages done to Artemis by his mother's breakdown. From two angles, no less! And I love it.

Haha, that sounds cold, I know, but I like that all of this trauma he experienced at such a tender young age -and for an extended period of time- didn't just vanish because Angeline is got better. This is something Artemis will always carry, even if he does have a good relationship now with all his family, as witnessed back in Chapter 1 with that tender moment with the twins. Recognizing those lingering scars here makes the interaction with his family earlier all the sweeter.

Oh man, guys, I've forgotten a lot about this book. Don't toss the book at me (haha), but initially I didn't love this book too much. (Honestly, I've got a rocky relationship with The Atlantis Complex and The Last Guardian, too.) I feel like I'm only now truly appreciating Time Paradox for what it is.

Another thing I love? Artemis' shock and surprise when past Butler shoots him with the tranq!

(Past) Mulch Diggums is deeply offended by the word 'friend'; obviously, Artemis is not the only one on whom these adventures have had a profound effect.

If there's a will, there's a way; or, in Artemis' case, if there's a thought, there's a plan. Time travel's fun when you're a genius. He literally only had to think of what he needs and it's there!

But thankfully, that trick only works once. After all, we can't make this too easy for a genius battling, well, himself.

Chapter 7: Talk to the Animals

The Lost Colony gave us adolescent Artemis.

The Time Paradox gives us adolescent Holly.

I'm not sure which one I enjoyed better. Okay, expect Artemis' reaction. Watching him stumble and fumble with Holly's unexpected emotions is rather more endearing and entertaining than his still-adorable befuddlement over 'girlfriend' jokes and hormones. Especially when Holly calls him 'Arty'. Really threw him for a loop, eh?

Artemis getting blindsided by a giant gorilla is reminiscent of Butler getting blindsided by the troll so long ago (or some time from now, depending on how you look at it). I expect Artemis is going to spend a lot of time walking in other people's shoes on this particular adventure.

To heal or not to heal? With Artemis at death's door, Holly is suddenly faced with an impossible choice. Let him die of his wounds or save him now, only to condemn him to the slow and painful process of Spelltropy shutting down his every organ later? That's...steep. And scarring. And all your fault, Arty.

?!?!?!??

KISSED?!

?!?!??!??!!????!!?

HOLLY KISSED ARTEMIS?!

?!??!?!??!!???!?!??!?!?!?!?

Remember just a few paragraphs ago, when I said 'oh man, guys, I've forgotten a lot about this book'?

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

I completely forgot this kiss happened. Seriously, I must have blocked it out. There's no other explanation for it.

Confession time: I am not a Holly x Artemis shipper. Not in the least. I think this pairing is...weird. I mean, aside from the awkward age and the whole 'separate species' differences, I honestly just prefer them as friends. They've got a great chemistry in that area and I can't see them working too well as a couple.

Having said that, I'm quite enjoying this unexpected turn of events. It's actually a great way to explore not only their relationship and how it's developed so dramatically over the years but they have each grown on their own in those years, both because of and in spite of each other.

Also, it seriously feels like Eoin is trolling the pair of them (or maybe just the readers?) by putting first Artemis and now Holly into these delicate hormonal states and hiking up the 'awkward' quota. And that, I seriously love.

While chasing after the lemur, young Artemis is starting to show an ugly side we haven't seen before, not even in the first book. He views the lemur only as euro signs and a way to power; when he kidnaps Holly, his realization and guilt over holding a living creature come on pretty quick. Of course, given the messy way things are going on this time traveling jaunt, it's entirely possible that quick guilty feeling is a subconscious remnant of the lemur incident. Time travel is tricky like that.

Butler doesn't like this ugly look on Artemis any more than I do. I'm interested to see how this will go between charge and bodyguard and, well, older charge.

"A life of crime was infinitely easier."

Okay. Let's take a minute here. I've been really hard on Arty, I know, about lying to his fairy friends and manipulating them with their resulting guilt. But now I've got to give the kid props.

He's kind of terrible at being good. And while we know Artemis isn't one to run from a challenge, I mean, everything is going wrong that possibly can -but he sticks with it. Granted, the only other option is to let his mother die, but there's something to be said for his dogged determination to do good, especially when doing bad really was so much easier for him. He had a special knack for it, a devious bent to the way his mind works, that just doesn't translate well to doing the right thing, as evidenced by the aforementioned manipulation of his friends so that he could do the right thing to save his mother.

But Artemis sticks with it, because he's realized it's worth it.

A quick shout out to Facebook follower Elizabeth White, who made me reevaluate how I've been seeing Artemis in this book. Thanks for that. ^_^

Ah, faced with the necessity of manual labor, Artemis once again vows to hit the gym once everything settles down. For what? The fourth, fifth time?

And does Artemis ever hit the gym, Fowl Fans?

No. No he does not.

Artemis getting a taste of his own medicine from his younger self is karma as its absolute worst timing. Which, I guess, is very karmic, come to think of it.

Oh, the irony! I love, love, LOVE that Artemis uses the infamous 'stay back' line not only himself, but on himself. 

Artemis' shock over his younger self's cruelty is revealing. Despite the guilt he's held over many of his past actions, it denotes a good helping of denial about just how ruthless he really was. Thinking back, whenever he's reminded of his past deeds, Artemis usually offers 'I was young' or 'I was immature then' or some other excuse which just screams of him not being honest with himself. But here now, face to face with his literal past self, there is no denying or skirting around what he truly was back then. And what happens?

Artemis hates himself.

Isn't it possible that this self-hatred is an emotion he's buried deep and been actively fighting or ignoring since he began his journey of growth? But here in the past, there's just no escaping it? He can't deny it when he's staring it in the face; he can't lie to himself when the truth of it is his latest opponent.

To save his moment, Artemis will have to face his greatest adversary of all. Not just himself -even that would be too easy. Artemis will have to confront -and ultimately overcome- his own self-loathing.

Oooh, ooh, and what's lurking in the back of Arty's mind, as this realization starts to sink in? How he lied to, hurt, and manipulated Holly, his best friend.

Maybe I'm reading way too much into this, but I prefer to think that Eoin is a freakin' genius.

Chapter 8: A Blob of Phlegm

I was going to say a little snarky 'I told you so, Arty' when he shatters this tender moment between him and Holly, but in the end I've really got to give him props again. This was the best thing he could do in the situation. Insecure, teenage Holly is talking what-if-we-had-a-relationship-not-friendship and Artemis knows -knows- that answering that question one way or another, with his lie hanging over it, will be the worst possible and a completely irrevocable thing to do.

Artemis shows his character here. He owns up to the mistake. Sure, it's bad timing; sure, it's hard. But it was the best thing he could do for the situation. For Holly. And, despite how much he's done to screw it up recently, it was also the best thing he could do for their friendship.

This reminds us that there is still hope for Artemis.

That Eoin refers to these emotions and tender moments very specifically 'at this tangle of time and space' just proves to me that he really is trolling the shippers. And I love it!

So tell me, what's your favorite part of this time traveling venture so far?

March's reading schedule for The Time Paradox:

March 7: Chapters 1-4

March 14: Chapters 5-8

March 21: Chapters 9-12

March 28: Chapters 13-16

There Are Always Consequences | The Time Paradox Ch 1-4 | Artemis Fowl Read Along

Chapter One: Espresso and Treacle

Hello, Fowl Twins!

My first thought on being introduced to this fascinating pair is that Beckett might very well have a rough childhood. Doubtless loved by all, but when your older brother is the genius mastermind Artemis Fowl, and your twin is looking to take after his brains, there's a lot poor Beckett is going to miss out on, a lot he's probably going to feel inadequate about, and a lot of times he's going to feel the insane pressure to prove himself and live up to the 'Fowl name'. My theory, obviously. Of course, as I read on, the more I think Beckett, while not as smart as Myles, is certainly smarter than your average two-year-old. These two will be quite a handful.

Bring on the spin-off series!

Artemis as big brother is freaking ADORABLE. Abandoning French vocabulary in favor of 'play'? Grinning at his father about finger painting? And it was all interrupted far too soon. I don't care if it doesn't really pertain to the 'plot', I want more of big brother Artemis. If Artemis pops up in the Fowl Twins frequently solely to fill the role of big brother, I will be a happy reader.

Way back in The Eternity Code, Holly makes a very good point when Artemis asks her to revive Butler. 'This was not how magic was supposed to be used.' Artemis has a history of 'doctoring' things to do what he wants and manipulating to get his way, even against nature and time itself. And as a sprite once told him so long ago '...you have no idea what you're dealing with.'

Artemis is jumping the gun here, from one conclusion to another. Mother dying of a mysterious and incurable disease? Say no more! Magic healing! He acts on very little info or research and I'm trying to mesh this behavior with his personality in my mind, because this is a very un-Artemis like thing for him to do.

On the other hand, he does have a deadline and his mother is dying; Artemis has been known to do rash and uncharacteristic things concerning endangered loved ones. I have also established -at least in my own head cannon- that Artemis also has a tendency to develop blind spots when he is too focused on something else (like trying to sell the C-Cube and not realizing the danger it might put the People in).

Okay. This works better in my head now. Moving on!

Magic doesn't work. It actually makes his mother worse. For Artemis, this is a surprise gut punch. Let's think about it; over the last 6 years (counting the 3 lost in Hybras) and five books, Artemis has come to rely on magic as his ace in the whole, his fix-all, his hi-tech duct tape. And now, when he needs a magic fix-all the most -it lets him down.

There's an interesting parallel here. Before Artemis relied so heavily on magic to solve problems, he had his intellect to do the same. The entire kidnapping/ransoming scheme was a child of his intellect, after all. He thought he understood magic then and it threw him for a loop. And from The Arctic Incident to The Opal Deception, there's been a theme under the surface, a little moral trying to poke its way into Artemis' big brain: intellect, magic, and power are nothing compared to friendship. The Lost Colony delves a little deeper into Artemis actually grasping that idea. I suspect The Time Paradox will continue on the same note, especially since 'magic' isn't going to fix this problem and -as we learn later- Artemis himself is actually the problem.

Chapter 2: The World's Biggest

Fart. The World's Biggest Fart. Mr. Colfer's flatulence humor strikes again!

Commander Trouble Kelp. How did I forget that Trouble became the Commander of Recon?! Wherever Julius Root is, I'll bet he's cackling around a noxious fungal cigar.

Holly is simply incapable of routine, easy missions. Seriously. They should just stop sending her out for 'simple' assignments; by now they must have learned they're ALL going to explode. Some more literally than others.

Chapter 3: Echoes of Magic

I love that Butler and Artemis Sr agree leaving Artemis the Genius alone is a bad idea because he could 'turn a Sunday picnic into an international incident' and Artemis just nods and accepts this without fuss, meddler and trouble magnet that he is.

CENTAUR. Artemis' security password is CENTAUR. Remember how I said these two have such an underrated relationship of jibing and competing and respect? I really need that Artemis and Foaly team-up story. Pretty, pretty please?

That's right, Arty; the only chance to save your mother and you're responsible for destroying it. This isn't the first time Artemis has done serious damage with his actions, to himself or others, but it's such a harder blow when he's finally on the straight and narrow and the repercussions are from so long ago and they hit so. damn. hard. Ain't no rest for the wicked, eh?

Chapter 4: Monkey's Uncle

If you don't automatically hear Scar in your head, what kind of childhood did you even have?

10-year-old Artemis eavesdrops on his father promising his mother the world as soon as he's finished the Russian/cola deal, and Artemis himself suspects that, once trade is established in the Arctic, his father will have trouble pulling away where there are billions more to be made.

This is interesting in two ways. 

First, that Artemis is (and has perhaps on previous occasions) predicting an unhealthy cycle in his parents' relationship of Sr promising Angeline the world (literally) only to break it for the sake of money, which he valued above all. Rather a dangerous role-model for impressionable Arty.

Second, simply a reiteration of earlier commentary. Which was it that truly changed Artemis Sr? His brush with death and imprisonment or Holly's magic?

Oh, poor Arty! Standing firm and being strong in the wake of Angeline's impending nervous breakdown -to talk finances! Poor, silly boy. It almost makes one wonder... Would Angeline have gone so far off the mental edge if her son had been there for her emotionally, rather than financially?

GUYS. 10-year-old Artemis, dressed for business in his suit for the first time, with an unfamiliar coldness in his voice. THIS IS ARTEMIS' ORIGIN STORY.

Artemis sold the lemur in attempt to save his father. Because he's responsible for the lemur's death, his mother is going to die. Yet another ironic twist of fate in this series, and I love that.

It's been mentioned before that Artemis uses music to plot, but I love the emphasis on it here. Young Arty, finger conducting while concocting his first evil scheme and present Artemis putting on a mental soundtrack to plot out how to save his mother.

Artemis NOOOOOOOOO!!! You silly, stupid boy! D'arvit! Have you learned NOTHING?! But nooo, why not just manipulate Holly again; lie to her, tell her it's her fault and make her feel immeasurable guilt, even though you're perfectly aware it wasn't her!

You just told Holly and Foaly how horrible it was that you rationalized trading the lemur for your father's life, but this isn't much different, is it?

"Be strong." Both times Artemis uses this to bolster his resolve, he shouldn't.

First, hounding his distraught mother about finances.

Second, when he considers telling Holly the truth, instead of committing to this latest -and probably worst- manipulation.

Nope, here I go. I'm about to give Artemis crap.

You, young man, are not trusting your friends again. We've talked about this! Look at all the progress you've made. You're digressing.

While guilting your friends (falsely) might have made it easier to convince them, you had other good points in your favor -how the People via Opal were just as responsible for the extinction of these lemurs as you were; how desperation drove the People to do things they never would have.

What you're relying on is their fear of another outbreak, which you know won't happen. You're manipulating them because you don't think they'll bend the rules just for your mother and father. Just for you, their friend. Because it's not like they've ever done that before.

And now? Well, I guess we won't know what they would done for you, will we? Because you didn't give them the chance to help you.

March's reading schedule for The Time Paradox:

March 7: Chapters 1-4

March 14: Chapters 5-8

March 21: Chapters 9-12

March 28: Chapters 13-16